I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
