Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Duck Duck Cougar?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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