A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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