Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
