oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize