That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
