how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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