Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize