hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
