ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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