Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize