how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize