K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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