My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
