So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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