Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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