I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm having to shit out rocks
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