somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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