In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
