im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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