I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
