Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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