So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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