i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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