then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
