Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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