My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize