This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
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For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂