I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.