THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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