Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
