if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
