But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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