she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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