No, you can still breathe under the balls.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
