this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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