i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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