Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
