Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
