just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So. Much. Porn.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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