I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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