I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
