I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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