how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize