don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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