At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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