Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
