I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
