i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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