just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
