I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
