so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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