I seem to have left my pride at pride
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
