dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I'm really busy with my period
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