i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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