Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
