they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
