YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
