So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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