I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
