Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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