The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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