Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
