when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
